I believe that as leaders we always walk a fine line between competence and complacency – and it is often so easy to stumble across that line.

In our defense it can be difficult to elicit the feedback we need. Even when invited to do so, people are usually reluctant to offer up honest, objective opinions of their leaders.  Nevertheless it is our responsibility to put ourselves into situations in which we can learn and grow while continually improving our skills.

I have worked with horses for many years and have become a fairly proficient horse trainer and herd leader.  I now design and facilitate workshops to help people develop their leadership skills by working with horses.   It didn’t occur to me until recently that I had become so busy teaching others that I was neglecting my self-improvement.  In my role as  ’the expert’ I had stumbled across that line into complacency.

This  ‘aha’ moment occurred when I took my new Australian Shepherd puppy Annie to our first obedience class.  I am a passionate follower of Cesar Milan, the dog whisperer, because he does with dogs what we do with horses.  I looked long and hard and finally found an instructor with that same philosophy of demonstrating calm assertive leadership through body language.   I took Annie to our first class thinking that it would be pretty much of a snap for both of us.

Well, in less than five minutes I discovered that, while I can move an eighteen hundred pound horse just by looking at it,  I was lacking the timing, balance and basic motor skills necessary to maneuver a 25 lb puppy.   Annie and I staggered around the room  looking like drunken sailors while listening to such encouraging suggestions as  “ try to look like a leader” “be more assertive”  and “don’t let your dog herd you!”

I was completely out of my comfort zone and my professional ego had been crushed somewhere on the floor under Annie’s bouncing paws.   I looked over at my husband hoping for some support but he was laughing too hard to be of any help.   In the fifteen seconds that I spent glaring at him, Annie, looking for someone with some leadership skills, had gone to sit quietly and obediently at the instructor’s feet.

I considered slinking out the side door,  abandoning both husband and dog,  but instead I soldiered on – and when the class was over I signed up for another one the next day.   Now, six weeks later, obedience class is the highlight of my week and takes priority over all other commitments.

I am loving the challenge of looking at new ideas and learning new skills in my own professional field.  At times it is rewarding and at other times it is frustrating and humbling, but it is never dull.  I have a different perspective and more enthusiasm for my work with my horses. More importantly, as a student once again, I have a lot more empathy for my own students.

I am no longer worried about becoming too complacent in my work.  This experience has inspired me to develop some new ideas for our equine leadership program. My work with Annie is just beginning and plans are already in the works for another Australian Shepherd puppy and possibly some canine-related programs way down the road.   I am hopeful that  all these learning challenges will keep me on the right side of that line for at least a few more years!

A friend of mine is in a new relationship.  The other day she half-jokingly asked if she could bring the new man up and give him a horse to work with.   We could observe him and determine whether he has any underlying behavioural traits that  she should know about.

Although we laughed at this scenario the truth is that people’s patterns of behaviour show up pretty clearly when they work with horses.  As prey animals dependent on strong herd leadership for survival, horses need to assess a person’s leadership potential very quickly.

In a herd the leader is the horse who most effectively controls the movement of the other horses.  The easiest way for a horse to test your leadership abilities is to simply step into your space and wait to see how you respond.  I have seen it happen hundreds of times in our workshops.

People tend react to the horse’s push in one of two ways.  They either politely step back, giving up their position, or they reactively push back at the horse.  Unfortunately neither of these actions is particularly effective.

I tell everyone that there are three ways in which you can move a horse.  You can push the horse away from you, you can draw him towards you, or you can block him to stop or redirect his movement.  All three actions are performed with your body language, energy and intent without physical contact. Horses are so perceptive and sensitive that they respond instantly to the subtlest physical messages from us.

Your effectiveness as leader depends on how well you can balance these three actions with the specific needs of your horse over different situations.

Most people would prefer to draw their horse along with them.  This works for my two Austrian mountain ponies, (the golden retrievers of the horse world),  who love people and are happy to comply.  It does not work at all for my herd leaders who are quite dominant with a ‘prove yourself to me’ attitude.  They will not comply until you have earned their respect.

The problem with pushing is that people often put emotion into it.  Sometimes the push is very reactive as a result of being crowded or pushed by the horse.  Some people are clearly anxious or nervous when they push because they are uncomfortable being assertive. Others push too hard and get very wound up emotionally.

The block is the most effective action to take with a horse in almost every situation.  A block creates a boundary for your horse and horses enthusiastically respect boundaries.  It is positive, powerful and pro-active.   It replaces emotion with calm assertiveness.  And it is surprisingly easy to learn.

I teach my students to stand in a calm centered manner with their feet solidly connected to the ground and to breathe slowly and steadily.  Once they have achieved this state of calm assertiveness they are always amazed to discover that they can stop any of my horses in their tracks simply by pointing their finger or their bellybutton at them.  The boundary is established not by the pointing of their finger but by the underlying intent and message of their body language

While it is second nature for me to routinely establish boundaries or blocks for my horses I often avoid doing so in my professional and personal life.  I want to believe that people will naturally understand and respect my limits but that is naïve.   There is always someone out there who will test my boundaries. Failing to establish those boundaries clearly up front inevitably results in a pushing match later on.  I hate pushing matches.

When I establish boundaries in the arena with the horses I get a positive reaction every time.  The horse drops its head, relaxes its body and often yawns or begins to lick and chew.  All of these equine behaviours are signs that the horse is releasing stress and relaxing in the presence of calm assertive leadership.   While I haven’t seen my human counterparts reacting quite the same manner I would like to believe that they are just as positive and willingly respectful of my boundaries.

Let’s face it , as leaders we all secretly (or openly) hope that the people we lead actually like us. But that need to be popular, to be perceived as a nice guy, can sometimes interfere with our ability to lead.  Nice doesn’t always equate with effective.

When people work with my horses they feel it is important that they gain their horse’s affection.  I explain to them that all the nose petting in the world is not going to make your horse love you.  Horses really only care about a person’s leadership ability.  Show them  your leadership skills and they will follow you anywhere.

A case in point is Bailey, my Clydesdale.  Bailey is huge, beautiful mare that seems to exude calm, confidence.   For twelve years she has been the cornerstone of our therapeutic riding program.

Last year Bailey had an unfortunate mishap in our arena.  One of our new volunteers tied her improperly on the wall.  Her feet became tangled in the too- long rope and she panicked and fell.   From that day on she became increasingly afraid of any kind of ropes on the ground.  This fear gradually turned into a generalized anxiety causing her to be very nervous and spooky.

This was a big issue for us as Bailey needed to get past her fears and back to work, both for the sake of our program and for her own self-confidence.

Whenever Bailey came into the arena and showed any signs of nervousness or anxiety well-meaning people would run to her to speak soothingly and stroke her sympathetically.   More than a few were a little shocked when I put a stop to all this well-intended but misguided sympathy.

Instead of offering her sympathy I worked Bailey over every rope I could find to throw on the ground.  I roped her feet and applied pressure on the rope.  I made her walk over tarps, I threw bags at her, crackled water bottles on the ground in front of her  and spun whips over her head.    We worked through each of these situations until she was calm and accepting.  I never forced her physically but I used all of my physical and emotional energy to create boundaries and expectations for her.

It was an exciting few weeks but in the end I had my horse back – as much as I ever would.  Although Bailey has regained much of her confidence I also know that horses, like elephants, never forget.  I watch closely, and if I see any of her anxiety returning, I step in immediately, put my foot down and push her to work through the issue.

The boundaries and expectations that I place on Bailey demonstrate my belief in her.  In pushing her to overcome her fears I am telling her that I know she has the ability to do so.  Because I am consistent about this she in turn trusts me as her leader to provide the support, the encouragement and the push she needs at times.

I try to bring that same message to the people who work for me.  When I hire   someone I am essentially telling them that I believe they can do the job.  If I don’t follow up with consistent boundaries and expectations I am not supporting that belief.  I want my staff to know that when I give them feedback or when I demand more from them it is because I know they can rise to the expectations I place on them.   It ‘s a far more effective way of demonstrating my belief in them than a pat on the back – or the nose.

I just read a great article by Dr. Brett Simmons about the importance of providing  organizational support for your teams.   Dr Simmons states that if you want your people to perform well they must feel that you are actively supporting them.

What happens however, when you have to step between your staff and a dissatisfied or disgruntled client.  Suddenly your company values (supporting your team/employees) may be on a collision course with your (understandable) concern for your bottom line.

In my two companies I have both two and four legged employees.  As is always the case in my life, it was the horses who showed me where I needed to put my priorities when these staff vs client situations arose.

When I first started running equine programs I learned very quickly that safety and success are dependent on having great horses.  The programs we offer are, at times, emotionally and psychological stressful on our horses, and so their well-being has to be our top priority.  Our horses need to know that we will keep them safe and secure and that, at all times we (quite literally) have their backs.

Every client who enters our arena from the top CEO to the youngest therapeutic client is immediately provided with guidelines for interacting with our horses.  The horses must always be treated with respect.  No one is allowed to display anger or aggression towards them.  If the client cannot stay calm they must give the horse to someone else (or we will step in and take the horse) and they must walk away until they have their emotions under control. If they can’t resolve the issue they are free to discuss it with me but they are not allowed to take it out on the horse.

When clients question these protocols I politely explain that I have put a great deal of time and effort into developing my horses’ skills as well as their loyalty.  I am not about to jeopardize any of that.  I also tell them that while they are free to head on home after their meltdown I must continue working with a cranky, resentful horse who may not feel like putting his best effort into my next few clients.

I apply this same philosophy to the people who work for me.  Many of my staff are young and we always have new trainees coming in. Yes, mistakes are inevitable but they are usually made with the best intentions and effort. My staff know that it is their right to be treated respectfully at all times.   If issues arise with the clients they know that I am there to make sure that is the case.

We have lost a very  few clients over the years because of this philosophy but I don’t worry about it.  Undesirable clients are much easier to replace than skilled,  hard-working loyal staff of either the two or four legged variety.

How many leaders do you know who could be described as over-achievers? Perhaps you would use this adjective to describe yourself.  To be an over-achiever is often seen as positive, but that drive for perfection can have a negative impact on how we lead ourselves and others.

The work that I do requires me to be a strong, physically fit and competent person.  I didn’t realize however how much of my identity was wrapped up in that perception of competence and possibly even invulnerability until a recent knee injury.

To be accurate the knee injury was not really recent.  It happened in my teens and the surgery to repair it failed.  Thirty-five years and eleven surgeries later it is more or less functioning but only because of religious daily workouts and a lot of horseback riding.

Last year I was riding one of my young horses, Bob, when he tripped and fell and, of course, landed on my not so good leg.  That started a downhill slide that had me pretty much sidelined from most physical activity by this past Christmas.

A well-balanced, sensible person would have accepted the situation, rested the knee and tried some moderate exercise but I could not deal with the limitations, the idea of being less capable.   No wussy set of prescribed exercises for me!  I increased my regular physical workouts to the point where I ended up in the hospital – twice.

I also stopped riding.   I didn’t feel confident riding my young and sometimes rambunctious horses with only one good leg.  I ignored the fact that I have seven other great quiet, well-schooled horses that I could have easily ridden.  I spent four months berating myself because I didn’t feel confident enough to get on the tough ones.

This inability to accept less than perfection permeates all aspects of my life.  My company has an excellent reputation and many long-term loyal and satisfied clients, yet I will spend countless sleepless hours obsessing about one disgruntled customer.   I have created many innovative and very effective programs for my clients and yet I get upset with myself over every (inevitable) mistake that I make in the process.

Although at this point it sounds as though I could have benefitted from some psychotherapy I instead went to my two orthopedic specialists, both of whom set me straight about my knee and my over-achieving attitude.

I now have a game plan for my knee (and, after much reflection, maybe my life).  I am riding right now – a bicycle! – to gradually build up leg strength in a moderate and sensible manner.  I am getting back in the saddle, on my safe and sensible horses. I am groundworking the young ones to settle them down so I can eventually ride them again.

Today as I was finishing up my bike ride I knew the last big hill might be too much for the knee as I was feeling some twinges. Fighting every  natural instinct I got off my bike and walked up the hill.  I have proved that I can balance on a bike, and in a saddle.  Today I am hopeful I might achieve some balance in my life also.

Last week I had the opportunity to attend a horsemanship clinic presented by one of my heroes,  a man named John Lyons.  John is an accomplished horseman/clinician of many years who mixes a lot of human and horse philosophy into his riding instruction.  While on the surface his lessons appear to be about the mechanics of performance, his underlying message is about building a positive relationship to motivate and engage the horse.

I don’t get much chance to observe other horse people and how they interact with their horses.  I was surprised at the behaviour of many of the clinic horses especially since it was day three of a three day workshop. There was a lot of tail swishing and head tossing.  You could see the tension in the horses’ bodies. Some tried to bite or kick out at others horses that got too close.  Many seemed disengaged from their riders and from the learning process of the clinic.

Then John mounted up on his horse, Preacher,  so that he could work with one of the “biters”.   For forty-five minutes he rode his horse at, around and at times into the other horse who was obviously, hostile and aggressive.  His horse did the job calmly and willingly, to the best of his ability, in complete partnership and cooperation with his rider.  Not once did he look frightened, upset, or reluctant.

I thought about difference in attitude between Preacher and other horses in clinic.  And I thought about my own horses at home who also do their job willingly cooperatively and to their best ability.  Why were they so much more cooperative and engaged in their task than the clinic horses I was watching?

I have always believed that having a regular specific job makes a big difference in a horse’s attitude and enthusiasm but, as I watched the clinic, I realized that was too simplistic an answer.  The clinic horses had a great job and one that comes naturally to them – to walk, trot, canter in a free and balanced manner.  John’s horse Preacher on the other hand had the tough task that day.  My horses work in an environment that is completely unnatural to them.  In our therapeutic program they must walk around the arena in endless circles carrying riders who cannot sit in a balanced position or offer the leadership every horse needs.  I am sure they would gladly trade places anytime with any of the clinic horses.

As the day went on and I watched John teach the answer finally became clear.  John was offering information about equine behaviour, psychology and values.  The riders however weren’t absorbing that information because they were fixated on the mechanics of how to get their horses to perform.  Repeatedly he explained that it didn’t matter where they held their reins – what mattered was that they develop the trust to loosen those reins so the horse could respond freely.  It didn’t matter how they asked the horse to tip his nose – what mattered was that they asked softly and politely and showed respect and recognition for the horse’s response.

As John rode Preacher in tight circles around the aggressive mare he explained that Preacher was fine with the situation because John had proved consistently that he could be trusted to keep him safe.  Horses are prey animals so safety is an important issue and trustworthiness in a leader is an important value in the equine herd.

When people come to our arena to work with my horses I insist that everyone make the effort to understand how horses see the world and what is important to them.  They want to be handled with respect, empathy, honesty and calm assertive energy.  They want to live in an environment that is physically, emotionally and psychologically safe.

My job as leader is to provide all this for my horses. In return they give me their best effort in a job they would probably not choose willingly.   They don’t do it for the sake of the clients and they don’t do it for a few carrots at the end of the day.  They do it for me because I have proved that I am invested in them.

I used to wonder how one would engage and inspire employees who work in routine or mundane positions but I think my horses have provided the answer.  Take the time and make the effort  to listen to your people and acknowledge their values, their goals and priorities.   Honour and respect what is important to them.  As leaders we are the ones who need to be engaged in order to inspire and motivate those who work for us.

As a leader I divide my time equally between the human world and the animal world.  I have to admit that I am often happier in the animal world.  I find leadership there to be simpler, clearer and more direct.  It is also more instinctual, more physical and less cerebral.  There are valuable lessons that we humans can learn from leadership in the natural world.

We recently acquired a new puppy – an Australian Shepherd that we named Annie.  I wanted a high energy, highly trainable working dog.  After years of having golden retrievers (love them but they are basically furry rugs) I wanted a dog that would be more challenging but possibly more responsive.

I certainly got what I wanted.   This is a pup that goes all day without tiring mentally or physically.  There is no off switch.  It was obvious from the day we brought her home that she needed to be challenged and structured and so every activity  throughout the day includes a training component.

What I have found most interesting is the behaviour of the humans that Annie meets.  Puppies seem to bring out the same response in most people.  Their voices go up several octaves (sometimes painfully so) and they immediately try to engulf her physically,  in spite my requests for everyone to stay calm and quiet.  I am thinking of replacing the liver treats I carry with human treats in hopes of getting some cooperation.

Annie loves this ‘nutty human’ game – for a short period.  She jumps up and down, barks and throws herself onto her back in a frenzy.  But then very quickly she chooses to come back and sit at my feet.  It is obvious that she prefers my calm, assertive energy.

Probably everyone who works with animals understands the phrase “calm assertive energy.”  If you watch Cesar Milan (the Dog Whisperer) you will hear him repeat those three words many times through every one of his shows.  Interestingly enough I very rarely hear anyone in the human leadership world use the word energy when talking about leadership.

What do I mean by calm assertive energy?  Webster’s Dictionary defines energy as a “usually positive spiritual force,” a “vigorous exertion of power,”  and a “fundamental entity of nature that is transferred between parts of a system in the production of physical change within the system.”

Those definitions are a pretty good example of our human ability to complicate matters.  To my puppy Annie, calm assertive energy is simply my ability to communicate my intent in a calm, confident, direct, honest manner while being in control of my emotions at all times.  I must express all of his to her through my body language.  I can be fun and enthusiastic, calm and quiet, or stern and disapproving but throughout the entire range I must remain centered and grounded, intentional and deliberate in my actions.

To those of us who work with animals demonstrating this type of energy becomes second nature.  We have had to learn to match our energy and our intentions to our body language..  To many who come to my equine leadership workshops understanding their emotional (and physical) energy is very difficult and I see them looking at me quizzically when I tell them to use their energy.   I watch as they march their feet or dance up and down swinging their arms.  They expend a lot of nervous energy but their body language clearly indicates they have no confidence in the power of their own message.  They don’t expect the horses to respond, and because my horses are world experts at reading those true underlying messages, they of course don’t respond.

In the world of human leadership we all know – but often forget –  that actions speak louder than words and most of our true communication is non-verbal.  A leader’s energy affects everyone around them.  I know that if I am excited or upset that my horses will immediately pick up on that energy and become agitated.  Similarly if I arrive at work any morning in a bad mood my staff  tiptoe nervously around me.

In his book Primal Leadership, Daniel Goleman states that the leader in any group has always been the one to whom others look for assurance and clarity when there’s a job to be done. When leaders drive emotions positively they bring out everyone’s best. The key to primal leadership lies in how leaders handle themselves and their relationships.”  If you are a leader who demonstrates calm assertive energy across all situations chances are your employees will feel the same positive feelings of safety and security that Annie experiences when she is with me.

Is it possible for people to achieve that state of calm assertive energy?  I believe so and so does Daniel Goleman,  “The challenge of mastering leadership is a skill like any other.  Anyone who has the will and motivation can get better at leading once he understands the steps.”    Certainly anyone who watches The Dog Whisperer has seen Cesar Milan transform countless bewildered dog owners into calm assertive leaders.  They make the effort because they want to have a better relationship with their dog.  Surely we can do the same for the sake of the people who follow us.

The other morning I woke up with a queasy feeling in my stomach,  largely due to the fact that I had to trailer Bucky to the local equine hospital for yet another round of eye surgery.

I hate trailering horses, probably as much as my horses hate being on trailers.  Unless you have show horses that are used to being on trailers every week it is an unfamiliar and terrifying experience for most horses.  Horses can easily panic and trample you in such a small, enclosed space.

Bucky was especially afraid of trailers as he had been forced onto one years ago by his previous owners and the results had been disastrous (we heard some mumbled description of a trailer door being reduced to splinters).  I had done some work with him over the years but he still tended to lose it when he noticed the back door closing.  He would panic and propel himself backwards off the trailer like a fifteen hundred pound missile.

As Bucky and I stood there looking into the back of the trailer I knew that I was asking him to step into an unknown and potentially dangerous place.   I know from experience that it takes a lot of leadership skills to convince a horse to step into a trailer.  As I thought about it I realized they are probably the same skills required to take a  human team through a transition or crisis.  So, whether you are leading into a trailer or into the corporate unknown here are some leadership tips that might keep you from being trampled.

Build trust beforehand

I knew that couldn’t possibly command or force Bucky to get onto that trailer.  If you had enough people willing to help you could probably “make” a horse get on a trailer – once.  I guarantee though, that you could never do it twice.   If Bucky were to get on the trailer by his own choice it would be in large part because of his trust in my leadership capabilities.  Bucky and I have worked together for a long time and so I was hoping he would know that he could trust my ability to see him safely through.

Go in with a positive attitude expecting positive results

I had been going on and on ad nauseum for the past few days about what a horrible experience it was going to be putting Bucky on that trailer.  I fixated on everything that could go wrong.  Finally my husband looked at me and said, “Stop whining and think – if you go into this with that attitude, what do you think you will get back from Bucky?.”   I immediately shut up and began to visualize a more positive successful outcome.

Have a plan in place and practice it.

The very best time to load a horse onto a trailer is when you don’t really have to.  Rehearsing before hand takes all the pressure off and allows you to problem-solve in a calm, relaxed manner without any time constraints.  We started working with Bucky for several short sessions a day, many  days before the actual loading date.  We kept the sessions short and always ended on a successful note.

Show calm, assertive energy.

I knew that Bucky would immediately pick up on any hesitation or nervousness on my part.  My body always had to be grounded and centered and I had to demonstrate calm, quiet confidence even when he would begin to dance nervously or back up.

Stay focused and communicate constantly

This is one of the few times when working with my horses that I do take up tension on the lead rope.   I used pressure  and release on the rope to constantly tell Bucky what I wanted.   If he planted his feet I closed my hand on the rope to exert steady pressure (we call this a block).  The instant he moved forwards I released the pressure.   Bucky and I both became completely focused on the conversation we were having through the rope.  Staying focused on my requests lessened Bucky’s anxiety over stepping into the trailer.

Set firm, clear boundaries

I have watched people try to physically force horses onto trailers or bribe them on with treats.  Neither method works because a horse will not trust coercion or bribery.  Horses trust boundaries and clear direction.  A long time ago I was taught that when working with horses it is always more effective to “make the wrong thing difficult and the right thing easy.”

Bucky did launch himself backwards off the trailer a few times.  I had no choice but to go with him, but as I did so I closed my hand down and put some serious blocking pressure on the lead rope.  I didn’t attempt to pull him back, but the block I put on the rope created an uncomfortable boundary for him.  To release that tension he had to make the decision to step forward.   Eventually the slightest pressure on the rope brought him back to the trailer.

Celebrate victories

When Bucky finally did get on and was able to stand quietly for some time with the door closed he and I celebrated by sharing some carrots.

The day of the surgery went without a hitch.  Bucky walked on quietly at both ends of the journey and stood calmly when the door was closed.  I was relieved but I also know that this was a wake-up call for me.  Now that the good weather is here I will be practice loading all of my horses over the next few weeks.  It’s easy to be lulled into complacency, but far better to be prepared for the next crisis that is surely just around the corner.

I acquired a new student recently, a professional woman who owns and rides a horse, but who is new to the leadership concepts we incorporate when working with our horses.   After spending a few days working with my horses she sent me an email to say that working with me had been her first experience with “structured leadership methods.”

This email really stopped me in my tracks because I consider the way in which I interact with my horses to be completely non-structured.  When people ask me what specific methods I use to train my horses I tell them that I don’t really  “train” horses at all.  What would I train them to be – better horses?  Instead I spend most of my time and effort improving my own ability to understand and communicate with them.

I have studied and practiced “natural horsemanship (also known in books and movies as horse whispering) for many years.  Natural horsemanship is about developing a relationship with your horse based on understanding his perspective and his needs.  That relationship doesn’t rely on a specific method or structured activity that begins when my horses and I walk through the arena door.  It is instead an ongoing conversation that takes place whenever we are together.  Ultimately I am the leader (and my horses are happy with that because they depend leadership for survival) but I can demonstrate that leadership through conversations rather than directives.  And because every one of my horses is a unique individual, every conversation (and relationship) is different.

It seems that a lot of people in the horse world rely on methods instead of putting their efforts into developing a relationship with their horse.   I suppose it seems easier.  A method or system often consists of a set of structured steps or exercises that you can deliver to your horse.   You don’t have to take responsibility for the outcome.  If and when things don’t work out it is not your fault – the system didn’t work (or it’s the horse’s fault) so off you go to find a better, more successful system.

There is a place for systems and methods.  I remember that when I began my training many years ago I would have been lost without some sort of framework or structure in place to help me work and learn with my horses.   But I was also encouraged by my coaches to move beyond that reliance on methodology to make a real connection with each individual horse.  I was encouraged to listen, to understand and to develop individual relationships based on trust and communication.

In natural horsemanship the ultimate goal is to develop “soft feel”.  Soft feel is about   developing such an understanding with your horse that any request is as soft and light as a whisper.  A physical cue weighs no more than an ounce.  Your horse in responds in turn softly, lightly and willingly.

Achieving soft feel is a somewhat elusive goal that one can spend years working towards but never achieve.   Although I will never achieve perfection my horses and I do have more and more of those moments when it all falls into place and the relationship feels soft and light and almost magical.

I believe that as leaders we need to work towards achieving that same soft, light connection with people.  There are thousands of articles, books, blogs and videos out there with great information about leadership methods and styles – but we must never lose sight of the fact that leadership is ultimately about developing the relationships.

It has been a few years since I have worked with other people’s horses as managing my own herd  takes up most of my time.  When a friend of mine recently asked me to help her with her horse I was somewhat reluctant. Working with someone’s horse is a little like disciplining their child. It can be a delicate situation that carries a lot of responsibility if things go wrong. Although I agreed to help I was more than a little nervous about the upcoming training session.

Tracy’s horse, Oliver, is a big athletic ex-race horse who is very friendly and, according to Tracy, compliant in most situations.  She was having trouble however with an exercise that we call ‘push and draw.’  Push and draw is a foundation exercise in our equine training system of natural horsemanship.  We ask the horse to move his hind end away from us and turn to face us.  The horse will then follow as we draw him along with us.   We call it the relationship exercise.  It enables us to establish a leadership role with our horse quickly and effectively.  Because they have a strong need for leadership our horses love this exercise and we often use it as a reward during training.  The fact that Oliver was not responding was puzzling.

When Tracy brought Oliver into the arena I could immediately see anxiety and tension in his high head and stiff carriage.  When I asked him to move his hind end away, instead of smoothly crossing one hind foot over the other, he crow hopped around in an awkward and jerky fashion.  His front feet rotated but remained firmly planted in the dirt despite my efforts to draw him forward with me.  His entire body was braced and resistant.

It turned out that a previous trainer had taught Oliver to plant his feet and not move forward. To stay rooted in one spot goes against the natural instincts of a horse. In the wild horses must be able to move their feet at all times in order to flee predators and threatening situations.  While it is important to be able to influence the direction and speed of a horse’s movement, stopping all forward motion results in the anxiety and tension that I could see so clearly in Oliver.

It took twenty minutes of persistent coaching and gentle insistence to convince Oliver that he could in fact move forwards.  At that moment of realization the change in Oliver was instant, obvious and quite remarkable.  Every muscle in his body relaxed and his head dropped from the rafters down toward his knees. Within moments he was smoothly crossing one hind foot in front of the other and following us around the arena like a large puppy.

In natural horsemanship we call this dramatic change  ‘turning loose’.  Turning loose describes the relaxation of the horse’s mind and body as he is allowed to follow his natural instincts and move freely forward of his own volition.

As I drove home that night I thought about how happy and eager Oliver looked when he was able to move forward without correction or reprimand.  It occurred to me that as leaders we often inadvertently block the forward motion of those we lead.  We dismiss new ideas out of hand because they aren’t our ideas.  Instead of establishing boundaries within which people can work freely, we micro-manage because we are afraid others won’t do the job the way we would.    In doing so we create an atmosphere where people are afraid to take that first step forward.

My experience with Oliver caused me to look at my leadership from a new perspective.  I realize now that if I want an engaged, committed and productive team of employees I need to ‘turn them loose’ so they each may contribute in their unique own way to the vision and direction of our organization.